“A lot of people are distraught over getting those thin envelopes in the mail, often among the better students in their HS who felt they had a solid shot at their choices. The pain is real, and understandable. So I hope what follows can give a bit of perspective.
I’ve posted a version of this previously but I suspect the current round of people getting bad news probably wouldn’t have had much interest in reading it a year or two ago. So, one more time…
For most people this is the first moment of honest judgement they have ever faced in their lives and it is incredibly stressful. Your parents tell you that you are wonderful, and many teachers/schools promote self-esteem at the expense of honest but unpleasant feedback. Finally you have to lay your cards on the table when you apply to college, and you know the adcoms are not going admit people just to avoid hurting their feelings.
Coupled with that is the sense that for the first time doors are closing in your life. In reality doors have been opening and closing all along, you just didn’t know it or couldn’t change it. When your parents chose to live in Des Moines that ruled out a chance at a life growing up in in a big city like Manhattan, and vice-versa. If you spent all your time after school in gymnastics you probably aren’t 1st violin in the orchestra, and so on. But college is a highly visible door; when you enroll in college X it means you will never have a chance to be a frosh at any of the other thousands of colleges in the country, and there is the haunting thought that maybe you have chosen (or only have available) the wrong door.
But the despair you sense on boards like this is often fanned by the postings of ill-informed kids who are fixated on brand names because they have little or no idea how life really works. They seem to think that if they somehow get accepted to Harvard or Stanford or some other high-prestige school that their troubles will all be over, that they will be on a golden path the rest of their life — guaranteed. Just walk thru the door marked “best” and then after that everything falls into place. They sneer at those going to a top-20 or top-50 school, because it is so “obviously” inferior to a top-5 school. And those at a top 100 — well, they can feel only sympathy for them.
Too many people never grasp that the college door is not the same as the success-in-life door (if the latter even exists). College is a branch in the road, but the idea that when roads split they can never converge again is wrong. Given any goal there are multiple ways to reach it; some no doubt easier than others, but with multiple paths nonetheless.
I don’t dispute that you can gain a lot from attending a prestigious college; there is a reason they have earned that prestige. But it is pure folly to think that the top schools have a monopoly on great instructors or interesting students, that a fancy college name on a diploma guarantees success, or that not attending the “best” dooms you to a life of mediocrity.
I would actually argue that in the long run what will serve you more than one crowning moment of glory at age 18 is an inner sense of resilience; a confidence that you can handle whatever twists and turns that life hands you. Sure its better to get into the school of your dreams, to land a great job, meet the perfect mate, etc. But in the real world there are rejection letters, scheming co-workers playing office politics, and divorces.
It is resilience that will get you thru the ups and downs that life is going to hand you, whether it be not making it “big” in college admissions or some other setback that is sure to show up someday. Yes, even the HYPS kids will face adversity in the future just as surely as you will, too. How they handle it will affect their lives more than the diploma gathering dust in the attic.
There are so many people in this world who have overcome incredible difficulties and made a success of their life; sometimes in monetary terms, but sometimes just in a sense of enjoying the brief stay we all have on earth. Look at the people who suffer grievous accidents or illness and yet push on with little self-pity or complaint, the people in war-torn parts of the world who pick up the pieces and keep going after their lives are shattered, and on and on. Then explain to me again why life is so bleak if you only get into a school ranked 200th in the country instead of one in the top 20 (or top 10).”
-mikemac (THE AMAZING CCer) from College Confidential
This post has made my waiting for the colleges a lot easier. Gosh, I wanna go find these people and give them a hug! <3
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen.
I know that I usually never post religious stuff, but this prayer seriously hits home for me. ESPECIALLY this week since I literally can’t stop worrying 24/7 because of college decisions coming out on Wednesday…
I hope that despite the hope that I’ve been giving myself, I won’t be too disappointed by the result if it’s bad and that I can learn to be a big girl and just suck it up. And I guess I always have the Pity Party on Friday with my friends to look forward to, haha :]
A conversation about marriage (with some classmates)
Classmate #1:Like, I'm okay with gay people wanting to be with each other. But marriage should be between a guy and a girl.
Classmate #2:I don't even want to see it. Like, it's nasty.
Me:Oh my god! I know! My neighbor was talking about how he and his Jewish girlfriend wanna get married and I was like "Why should you two be allowed to get married?" in my head. I mean, why would they think it was okay for a Christian and a Jew to get married. Disgusting.
Me:And let me tell you about this other couple I saw making out at the mall. It was nasty. The boy was white and the girl was black. Can you believe that? Two people of different races being together? That's just wrong.
Classmate #2:What the hell is wrong with you? So what if they want to be together?
Classmate #1:Yeah, there isn't anything wrong with it.
Me:Are you kidding me? It's completely wrong.There is only one kind of marriage that is okay. And that is between a man and a woman of the same race, religious background, with the same income level and from the same place. We wouldn't want kids to think that diversity is okay. God wouldn't appreciate these people ruining the sanctity of marriage.
Classmate #1:Why are you even in this conversation? God loves everyone.
Me:What? So you're telling me that God doesn't care who you marry, because he loves everyone?
Me:Does he love animals, too?
Classmate #1:He loves human and animals and living creatures all around.
Me:Whoa. That just blew my mind. Well it is a good thing that gay people can't get married then. Because everyone knows that gay people aren't human, or living for that matter. Haha.
Thesis: Chris Colfer is hot. Supermegafoxyawesomehot.
Supporting Statements: Um. He is hot.
^because even when he’s acting unsexy he still is okay
my ovaries have been rendered useless
Chris, THIS is how gay guys get girls pregnant by accident, okay? By being this hot.
Seriously… He’s a frickin’ sex god. I mean, I admit, that he may have started out in that awkward phase of his teenage life (still ADORABLE and CUTE), but now, he grew into his frickin’ fine sexy self. ajslkgjlkasjgdklasjg WAI SO PERFECT?
Because Klaine is the perfect example of a romantic relationship backed up by strong friendship. Is it cheesy? Possibly, but this aspect of their relationship is what keeps them going so strong I think. And I admire that a lot <3